sporkchop

That’s how long it took me to clean my aunts kitchen, bathroom and clean off the dining room table.  SIX hours.  It was actually pretty fun since I was there by myself and didn’t have kids poking me in the ass every five damn seconds.  I did however also bite it from tripping over a fucking Safeway bag on the floor.  God damn cat food.

I ran three loads of dishes through the dishwasher while I was there and put away one load that she’d already had done.  The bathroom has two huge built in cupboards that were really dusty, so I was brave and busted out the step ladder and managed to climb the two steps and not slip and bash my fucking head in on the tub.  It was either I was going to slip of the step ladder was going to decide that it didn’t like my fat ass and just bust in half.  Luckily for me, neither happened.

The kitchen floor just wasn’t getting clean with using Lysols multi purpose cleaner, even with a spray bottle in hand I sprayed the horrible areas and it didn’t make a bit of difference.  So, I told my aunt that I needed something gritty to clean it with.  I ended up using Comet.  I got the floor damp and sprinkled it with Comet and scrubbed the living hell out of it with the mop and then tried to was it away as best as I could.  It’s definately better than it was!

Anyhow, it’s done and I’ll go back in a couple weeks.  Ahhh, relief!

Standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.  Kalayah tells me she has to go poop.  She goes in the bathroom and is in there forever…

Me:  “Kalayah!  Hurry up!”

Her: “I ammm mom!”

Me:  “Well, then hurry up and get out, you’re taking forever in there.”

Her:  “My turd won’t come out…”

Me:  “Well maybe it’s not ready to come out yet.”

Her:  “Yes it is mom, it’s eating cake now.”

Me:  “WHAT?  It’s eating TAPE?”

Her:  “No, cake, you know…like people?  They eat cake?!”

Me:  “Ohh cake.  Your turd’s eating cake?”

Her:  “YESSS.”

Me:  Pulls out my cell phone and texts Claude, ”Just an fyi, Kalayahs turd is eating cake.  Roflmao!

These last few days I haven’t been on here much…I usually lay off a little on the weekends cuz you know, I have time to do something else!

Sunday, Mothers Day, we went to the river in the afternoon.  We barbequed some short ribs and hung out with Bill and Jani and their kids.  It ended up being a decent day outside and actually warmed up a bit.  Not making it dreadful like I’d imagined.  Like always.

Yesterday (Monday) was cleaning day at my parents house.  It was a beautiful sunny day and even  nicer at their house.  After cleaning the house I pushed Kalayah on the swing and helped my dad haul the big swing from the barn to the back yard.  We sat outside and chatted a bit before we headed into town and picked Austin up from Grannies house, got Shea and went home.  Austin pitched a royal bitch at school since he didn’t take a nap at Grannies.  It was horribly embarrasing!  I took him outside where he proceeded to headbutt me a couple times and really piss me the fuck off.  To make matters worse, he has two teeth coming in so it was an extra special kinda bitchfest yesterday!

Today we went to Wal-Mart and bought too much shit.  I had to buy Shea and Kalayah some red tights for some dance thingy they are doing for the Sons of Norway Sunday.  Something Grannie talked Shea into doing.  It’s just a little dance at lunchtime I guess.  Nothing extra special, but they have to wear outfits that we luckily borrowed from someone else, cuz I sure as hell wasn’t about to make some.  Kalayah isn’t in the dance, but Grannie figured that she’s like to walk out with the other girls, so whatever, she’s a chicken shit and probably won’t do it at all!  I’ll be sure to take pictures though, cuz they will be cute regardless!  Austin was being a whiney little punk in Wal-Mart and Kalayah was Etch-A-Sketching in line and I was frustrated cuz I wanted to leave and Kalayahs shoes were on the wrong feet and she was farting around….anyhow, I got some cash back and after we got in the car I sent Claude a text telling him we’re having hamburgers and sunchips for dinner.  Yum! 

After a couple minutes he called me and was going to chit chat, I was being short.  I was irritated, but told him I have some cash if he wanted it for lunch and asked him where to meet up.  He was in the same area so I only had to take a left and up a block and he came around the corner at the same time.  I was trying to get the money out of my purse and my purse wasn’t cooperating and he was trying to say something and I said “Just shut the fuck up!”  YIKES!  That was nice!  Handed him the money, (people were behind both of us after 2 seconds) and left.  Of course he called me and said “WHAT the hell was that for?”  I felt like an asshole.  I apologized.  Hung up, and texted him another apology.  What a fucking bitch huh!  Damn kids are gonna be the death of me!

I’ve got to learn to chill the fuck OUT!

I know that this isn’t exactally an exciting post, but it’s real life, take it or leave it.