One Chance In Your Lifetime

July 25, 2008 at 11:54 pm | In life | 14 Comments
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I wish I didn’t have to wait 11 years…a month feels like eternity.

I could have tried harder…but I failed and for that I am sorry.

I’m glad I didn’t ignore you…finding you was just what I needed.

Three different circumstances that have really impacted my life, my decisions, my heart. I’m grateful for each and every one of them. Along with lifelong friendships, there has also been a lot of heartache, a lot of doubt and a lot of sleepless nights.

Once you’ve earned a spot in my heart, you’re there to stay, I’m giving that way. =]

I’m Just.

July 15, 2008 at 7:02 pm | In life | 10 Comments
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I’m not feelin it.  Something about me just doesn’t feel right.  I can’t sleep, I’m not all that happy, I feel like no one understands me, the kids who are supposed to be the highlight of my life feel like stumbling blocks.  There’s life out there that I’m not living, there are feelings and emotions that I can’t find, I can’t touch.  I’m grasping but failing.

One second I’m really happy with myself and the next I’m doubting that there is any good in me at all.  Sometimes I just want to go and be alone, maybe to cry, maybe to just sit, maybe to draw or take pictures, write a letter, make some sense out of this head of mine.  I’m just feeling lost and a little let down right now.

I’m overwhelmed and frustrated.  I have unfinished projects that I want to get done, I have a stack of unread magazines, I have 2 books that I was oh so excited to read and they have just sat here collecting dust.  I’m lazy and I’m angry because of it, I’m just sick and tired of myself.

I’m tired of being hesitant of myself and my actions.

I Wanted To Thank You…

July 1, 2008 at 6:21 pm | In life | 6 Comments
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It was a brief conversation and for some reason it really hit home with me…

Him: “Are you going to introduce me?”

Her:  “Oh you’ve met her before haven’t you?”

Him:  “I remember beauty when I see it…I haven’t met her before.”

Me:  *psshhh* “Oh come ON now!”

Him:  “Did you just ‘Oh come ON!’ me?”

Me:  “I did!”

Him:  “Sheesh, I try and give a compliment and she gives me attitude!”

Me:  “Yeah…that’s just how I roll”  And I walked away laughing to see what Austin was doing outside.  I came back in the kitchen…

Him:  “I’m old fashioned you know…”

Me:  “Oh you are huh, well that’s cool.” (Shuddup, I know I’m smooth!)

Him:  “Yeah I believe that beauty isn’t only skin deep, it’s what’s on inside that counts.  THAT is what’s important.  I truly believe that.”

Me:  “Yeah, I agree with you.”

That whole conversation was a little on the awkward side for me but in the end I kind of appreciated it.  I know I can be a total dork and this is post isn’t a fraction as interesting as some of the stuff I read about making a difference in peoples lives, but for some reason it affected me…

Thank you, whatever your name is, I’m sure I’ll see you around sometime.  I might end up saying thank you to your face…you just never know.

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